Antique furniture

If your furniture is old and can't afford newer furniture, just say you like collecting antique furniture.

Dumb down

Computers were invented to make us all feel a little dumber than we already are.

The smartest teachers

The smartest teachers in college are the ones who teach subjects you can't understand.

Expensive IQ test

College is the most expensive and longest IQ test you will ever take.

Older fashions are in

If you have no money for new clothes all the time, just wear your old clothes from 20 years ago and tell people the older fashions are now in.

Don't look good

If you don't look as good as you like to, just go out in public and look at other people, you will feel better.

Height fear

If you are afraid of heights, don't worry, at least you will never be stuck in a roller coaster upside down.

Halloween teeth

Having bad teeth is great for Halloween because you will save money on not having to make your teeth look scary.