Size zero

Size zero only matters until a size -1 is invented.

My favorite costume

My favorite costume is my clothes. They are so old that they look like a costume to most people.

Zipper dangers

Due to differences in body design for men and women, zippers on pants are far more dangerous for men.

Folding laundry

I folded laundry so much that I got to hate clothes. Now I never buy any new ones.

Cheap socks

I buy such cheap socks that they already come with the holes in the big toe and heel.

Latest tie fashions

It seems there is never any latest tie fashion. Any tie off the rack is in style.

Bow tie smarts

Bow ties make everyone feel smart when they use them.

Men pantyhose

If men wore pantyhose, you would have thousands of holes in them.

Baggy pants people

Do the people who wear baggy pants have really big butts or small butts? You can't tell.

Hobos

Hobos are smart. They save the most money on clothes.

Cuff links

Most people can't wear cuff links because they don't know what they are.

Drawstring pajamas

Drawstring pajamas are now standard because of the ever expanding waistlines.

Fashion sense

Who needs a fashion sense today? Look at the clothes some people wear.

Latest ties

Don't worry about buying the latest tie. None of them ever go out of style it seems.

Laundry tips

The only tip you need for laundry is how to get it done faster.

Best clothing fashion

The best clothing fashion is the one you can afford.

Bow ties

Never mind how do you tie a tie, how do you put on a bow tie?

Older fashions are in

If you have no money for new clothes all the time, just wear your old clothes from 20 years ago and tell people the older fashions are now in.

Future clothes sizes

The largest size clothes are always in the store because they are preparing for what will soon be the future norm.

Remember to tie a tie

The guy that forgot how to tie a tie is wearing the button ties at 50 yrs old.