Commit the boss

People can commit a husband for life. But how do you commit the boss to keep you for life?

New job

With the economy now, most people have a new job for life; finding one.

Fire a boss

You CAN fire a boss if you become your own boss.

Closest to heaven

The closest people to heaven are those who build skyscrapers.

Counter productive

Counter productive can be good if your job is behind a counter all day.

Live forever but high unemployment

You can't live forever though, because the unemployment rate would be way high with all the funeral people out of jobs.

Change careers

If I could change careers tomorrow, I would decided to actually have one.

Shoe shiners

Shoe shiners are out of work today because nobody wears shiney shoes anymore.

Bosses job

I would love my bosses job, but he just lost his too.

Main rule for work

The main rule for work is to show up so you don't get fired.

Cover letters

My job resume cover letter was short. I have no idea what a cover letter is so I had none.

Ambition

You must have ambition in life. If you don't want to be anything, at least have the ambition to succeed at THAT.

Using your body to get a promotion

I used my body to get a promotion. I walked 10 city blocks to get to the job inteview.

Changing careers

I would change careers if I had one to start with.

Retirement

Why is retirement good? It means you're at the end of your life.

Job bonus

I got a good job bonus offer. If I quit, they will give me a big bonus.

Bad day at work

I had a bad day at work because I had to show up.

Car salesmen sense of humor

Car salesmen have the best sense of humor. Every car they sell is great, right?

Overstaffed

I am pretty sure nobody uses the word overstaffed any longer today's economy.

Garbage all day

Do people who work with garbage during the day cook their own dinner at night?