Goats and aging

I'm such an old goat now, that even the goats don't want to be around me.

No longer a kid

I'm no longer a kid. I'm now an old goat.

Famous horses

You know you have more work to do in life when a horse is more famous than you are.

Lost parrots

Lost parrots are the only pet that can return if lost. They can just ask someone for directions.

The perfect pet

The perfect pet is one that takes care of itself.

Empty zoo cages

The last place you want to see an empty cage is at the zoo.

Dog house

The only dog house most people know is after a divorce.

Most fun small town

The most fun small town is probably where nobody lives, and the animals have it free all to themselves.

Shake hands dogs

Dogs must like people more than other dogs. They shake paws like a handshake with people's hands but yet they never do it with other dogs.

Count your chickens

I don't have to count my chickens before they hatch. I never had any chickens and never will.

Huge dinosaurs

What I know about dinosaurs is that they would have stepped on me if they were still here.

Animals exist to...

Animals exist to make us all feel like we are actually smart.

Obsolete horses

Horses may be obsolete today, but they said they don't mind getting a break.

Stray animal

The stray animal in some people's homes is actually a human.

Sleeping dogs lie

Sleeping dogs lie, but sleeping cats lie also.

Animals hunting me

I was so bad at hunting, the animals wound up hunting me instead.

Horse weight on you

When a horse is young, they carry you. When they get old, the weight is all on you now.

Aging horses

Aging horses are smart. When they get older they do nothing.

Animal crackers people

Why are there no people in the animal crackers? Many people are animals.

Animal noises

People complain about animal noises, but people noises can be far worse.