Free thought

With all the crazy things some people do in the world, free thought should be an earned privilege.

Quiet world

Make the world a quiet place; invent telepathy.

Blood type

My blood type is listed under "tired".

Zipper dangers

Due to differences in body design for men and women, zippers on pants are far more dangerous for men.

My body

My body likes me for now... until it decides to retire and quit.

Last forever

The only thing that will last forever is my bones.

Itchy butt

An itchy butt is never scratchable, so don't get one.

Five pictures of you nobody wants to see online

Nobody really needs to see these pictures of yourself. Even more so if you are famous.

1) Nude pictures above the waist.
2) Nude pictures below the waist.
3) Old bodies that you think look young.
4) How you looked 40 years ago.
5) Flabby bodies.

Fat cells

Fat cells seem to outlive any brain cells.

Tattoos forever

Don't worry, tattoos are not forever. After you die, they disappear.

Tattoos

Tattoos are just colorful scars.

Shinbone

Why is it the shinbone always gets bumped on furniture and that bone just happens to hurt the most?

Beer gut

What exactly is in a beer gut?

Six pack

The only six pack most people have is not on their stomach, but in the fridge.

Nose rings

I wonder if anyone ever tied a rope to a nose ring and park someone and mistake them as a horse?

Native tongue

How can someone have a native tongue? All tongues look the same to me.

Concentrating

Concentrating on something is a good idea. But how do you concentrate on concentrating?

Break a rib

If you break a rib, don't worry, because there are plenty more of them.