Bass fishing

The only bass fishing I know is trying to find the right bass setting for my speakers.

Great golf shot

The greatest golf shot I ever made was in my golf video game.

Fishing at retirement

Fishing is the perfect sport for retirement. You are doing something and nothing at the same time.

My hockey injury

I'm so bad at hockey, that I got injured by hitting myself with the stick.

Golf ball color

Golf balls are white so you can find them easier when they go in the woods on each hole.

At the racetrack

The racetrack is just like real life. You sometimes win but mostly lose at things.

Bungee jumping

I tried to bunjee jump once but went backward instead of forward to safety.

Best golf club

Never mind a 1 wood. I have to go down to a -1 wood to get extra distance.

I like bowling

I like bowling because you can be totally out of shape and still win a game against someone.

Rookies

Why wouldn't someone want to be called a rookie? It means you are young.

Athletic fun

The only athletic fun I ever had was playing my golf video game.

Toddler soccer

Toddler soccer is a lot of fun. Because even if you do terrible, you won't know it at that age.

Boxing career

Boxing is a great career. Now if I can only find a 90 pound weakling to box against so I can turn pro.

I got to third base

I got to third base once. Not in dating; in baseball.

Two racquet tennis

Two racquet tennis is for the rest of us who can't hit the ball. Hold a racquet in each hand so you have double the chance of hitting the ball back.

Losses in sports are forever

Losses in sports are forever because people like to rub them in.

Olympic walking

Why not add walking to the Olympics so I can finally get a gold medal in something?

Sports fanatic

I'm a sports fanatic. I have all the sports titles for my video game system.

New golf game

I started a new golf game for terrible players; the highest score wins.

Golf shaft

Never mind where the shaft of the golf club is, I found the shaft yesterday playing with my score.