Santa Claus outfits

Santa must not make a lot of money, because he doesn't have any other outfits than that big red one.

Santa Claus impersonation

How come the original Santa Claus never sued the others for impersonation?

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town. But which town? They never tell you.

Bank holidays

I never observe bank holidays because I have no money.

Holiday cheers

Get some holiday cheers. Tell a good joke and get some cheers.

Seasoned greetings

If you are a cook, for the holidays be sure to say "seasoned greetings" rather than "seasons greetings".

Mall Santas

Santas hang out in the malls for the same reason as everyone else; to get cheap prices on toys.

Christmas is for kids

And the adults who never grew up get the most gifts, so I am set for life.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was created so everyone would get free chocolate.

Holidays make me sad

Holidays make me sad because I can never remember the dates for most of them.

Last minute gifts

You can always tell the last minute Christmas gifts because they are usually cheap and something you don't want.

Mistletoe

Imagine if they had mistletoe at an airport? It would be even more crazy there.

Santa's helpers

How come they never revolt? He must pay them a lot of money.