Ridiculing Humor

Friday, August 2, 2013

Heaven and hell

Heaven and hell is right here on Earth. Some have a great life and some live in hell.

Efficiency expert

I need an efficiency expert to tell me how to do a days work in an hour.

Fair exchange

A fair exchange of money is me getting two $10 bills for a $5.

Gift for him

The best gift for him is the exact opposite of the best gift for her.

Wish you were young?

Why would you wish you were young again? Do you want to really do this all over AGAIN?

Hard times

Every time is a hard time because living is the hard time.

End of life as we know it

It may be the end of life as we know it, but I don't want to know it.

Live happy ever after

The way most people's lives are, the only way to live happy ever after is if you live again.

Government spending

The government wastes so much money that they can't even afford to print money anymore.

Generation gap

Generation gap? It is more like an alien to human gap.

Get well soon

Get well soon in case I get sick and you have to take care of me.

Free dating

Today, the dating service IS the Internet.

Teeth again

After the hard life teeth have, they must not like us, because they never grow back.

Your own dentist

You would think everyone would learn to be a dentist to save money and fix their own teeth.

Law of the Universe

The main law of the Universe; keep expanding and survive.

Mars life

I guess orange-red dirt and orange-red sky does not appeal to intelligent life.

Second grade math

Bad at math? Try second grade math. Oh wait, that is too hard also.

Sharing a locker

Before sharing a locker with someone, ask how many times they take shower each week.

Shipwrecked cruise

With the way things are going today, shipwrecked can also apply to some cruises.

Geometry humor

The humor in geometry is trying to understand anything about it at all.

Teacher's pet

In today's crazy world, a teacher's pet may get more love than an actual pet.

One condom

Never mind multiple, some people must not be able to even count to one, since they never use any condoms.

Sign of a loser

The biggest sign of being a loser is that you are not a winner.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Highly illlogical

A thing or thought is highly illogical? The ENTIRE human race is.

Related deaths

There are no related deaths listed in the obituaries because nobody knows how anyone died.

Baseball in heaven

If baseball is in heaven, it must be slow and boring there.

Caskets

I wonder in this bad economy if you can get your casket at a discount.

A meal to die for

A meal to die for is the last meal on death row.

Too much TV

TV time is too much once the picture gets blurry. Oh wait, that is my eyes getting blurry.

Five signs you're no longer in college

You are no longer in college if these happen.

1) You are finally broke after years of schooling.
2) You forgot what a fast food drive-thru is.
3) The only parties are the ones with family for your birthday.
4) You now call college students "kids".
5) Grocery list are now a mile long, since you are now doing a family shopping.