Try again

Always start baking a few hours earlier, so when the first batch does not work out, you have plenty of time to keep trying.

Song names

The hardest thing about classical music is not playing it, but how to pronounce all the arias in the operas.

Messy pies

If you are a messy person, just eat pies all the time.

Bowling

Bowling is only 10 frames because it is impossible to keep lifting the ball for 15 or 20 frames.

Winning at pool

With so many different types of pool games, how can you not be able to find one you can win at.

Latest hats

The good thing about hats is that no one hat style is ever in, so you can wear any hat you want.

It is worse

Life could be worse, and usually it is.

TV dinners

TV dinners were invented because nobody really knows how to cook.

Comatose

We are all comatose, because nobody really knows what they are doing.

Chicken or the egg

This question is just like the Universe, because nobody really knows what was there first either.

Cookie monster

We are all a cookie monster. Who wouldn't like great tasting cookies?

Chicken Little

We all become a Chicken Little when scared. The Chicken is for being afraid and the Little is for being reduced in size.

We owe them

The interest rates are so low today on savings accounts that we actually owe them money.

180 degree turn around

It is called a 180 turn around because 1 is starting at the beginning, 8 is the turning around, 0 is what you have if you fail.

Buy grades

The way things are today, you can't even afford to buy grades.

Green money

Money is green, because if it were blue, you would be sad looking at it and not want it.

Math

Mathematically speaking, math is hard.

Baking smarts

Baking is so hard that even baking a cake is not a piece of cake.

Lesson 101

It is called lesson 101 because that is how many times it will take to learn it.

Being cool

We all think we are cool until we meet someone who is cooler and then realize we never were.

Money talks

If money talks, then how come it doesn't tell us how to get more of it?

Long days

Every day is a long day except if it is a good day.

Bad luck

Everyone has bad luck, but some people are not smart enough to notice it.

Barbecue smarts

If you just act like you know what you are doing at the barbecue, people will think you really do.

Absent-minded

"You are absent-minded" is just a nice way of telling someone they are getting old.

Hard golf

Golf looks easy at home, until you find out you can't even hit the ball with the club.

Childbirth

It is called childbirth because what other name could you call it?

Perfect health

If chocolate were a vegetable, we would all have perfect health.

Chapter 11

It is called chapter 11 because the first 1 means a start, and two ones mean the end.

Weight lifting

Weight lifting seems easy until you realize lifting even 10 pounds for long is impossible.

Smart dogs

If dogs were smart, they would think we are idiots.

Learn from children

The best thing you can learn from children is to stay young.

Wrong numbers

People still haven't learned to read numbers yet or else we would have no wrong numbers dialed.

Stop signs

What part of the word STOP in a stop sign do people not understand?

Talking dogs

Don't wish your dog could talk, because they would probably complain more than people do.

Camping trips

The best camping trip is one which has the least amount of bugs around.

Bank accounts

Everyone has bank trouble, because we don't enough money in our bank account.

Art and science

Art and science are the same thing because learning either is an art and a science in itself.

Air miles

Just think of how much our air miles would go up if we could travel to the Moon once in awhile.

Animal noises

The safest animal noises are the ones that you can't hear.

Boat names

Boat names are always tough because it makes you forget the slim chances you have if you get lost at sea.

Hide the birth certificate

The birth certificate is always hidden in everyone's house because we don't want to know how much time we have left.

Being polite

Being polite only works with other polite people.

Clever dogs

There are clever dogs because some people are not clever enough to know they are actually smarter.

Keeps it away

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but how do you keep the other people away that you rather not see?

Brainless people

How can anyone call someone brainless? Since we all have a brain, the person calling someone brainless is brainless.

Concerned people

Most of us are concerned people. We are concerned that we won't have a dime left when we are old.

Choosing a school

Choosing a college is simple if you just pick one where they actually want you.

Paint drying

Many things in life are like paint drying, with the best example of trying to get rich.

Checkbooks

It is called a checkbook because you always have to check if you have any money left after all the bills are paid each month.

Alligators

Who wouldn't fear an alligator when something is charging out of the water that looks like you are its target.

Paint colors

How many different shades of white and other colors do we really need when choosing a paint color?

Be prepared

People always say be prepared, but usually it's for the bad news that lies ahead.

Slow camels

If camels moved any slower, it would be like they are in a time warp.

Cured colds

You are cured of the cold, finally, just until the next thing hits you.